Magical Days

Wordless Wednesday

magicaldays — Wed, 19 May 2010 13:55:00 +0000

Ready for Take Off…….(do click the picture for a better view)

magicaldays — Tue, 18 May 2010 02:55:00 +0000

I love you from Mercury to Pluto.

Dreams Unlimited

magicaldays — Mon, 17 May 2010 05:32:00 +0000

I recently started watching Indian Idol, as much as the antics of Annu Malik bother me, the show does make feel closer to India. The songs are the ones I grew up with, songs to the tunes of which I did my first dance, songs that remind of fresher parties on college, songs that remind of my dating days,songs that remind of my childhood, songs that bring me home. It’s gratifying to devour such songs while being so far away from home. So there, since I have explained the reasons that help me tolerate the ludicrous judge, let’s move on from the judges to the contestants. Actually to their answer to a particular question.

  “Why do you want to be the Indian Idol?”
And here the answers in no particular order:
   1.Its my mom’s dream.
   2.Its my dad’s dream
   3.Its my mom and dad’s dream
   Out of the millions of hopefuls that came for the auditions only a handful had a reason outside of the one’s mentioned above. Does this say anything about us as a society? As parents? Many of us, as parents, try to manifest our dream through our children. And in this quest of our own unfulfilled dream, we tend to make the child believe that this is what he/she wants for herself and that we are supporting his/her aspirations. Its not just Indian Idol where we see this. In fact, it’s one of the serious issues that children face when making a career decision. Adults tend to completely ignore the fact that the child is free to make his own career choice and in fact might have already made one. A person needs guidance from parents while exploring the desired career options. Because of their life experiences they might know more about those professions than the child. However, after helping outlining the ins and outs, shouldn’t the child in question be free to do what he wants to do with that information??
   There is one particular contestant on Indian Idol, who was in the final 16 but was not sure if he will go further in the next round. Standing on the stage he had only one thing to say “Mom and Dad, please understand that I have and am working very hard to realize your dream but if I don’t get audience’s positive response, please remember that I will go on working for your dream” And tears rolled down his cheeks. Do you sense the magnitude of pressure he is under??
   But why? If we have this confidence that we have raised our children well, we have kept the communication channels open with them, if we have impressed them with values of right and wrong, shouldn’t we be able to entrust them in making this choice? Some people assert that given a free hand in this life impacting decision, the children would end up choosing some career that would not be fitting. But fitting to which mold? If its your desire that the child becomes a doctor, you would have envisioned him in that doctor coat every time he came home with the report card. And no matter what he wants to become now, it would not fit in that mold of your fancy!!
   Maria Montessori says, “to give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself or neglect him. The help we give must not amount to a passive indifference to all the difficulties he will encounter; rather we must support his development with prudent and affectionate care”
   By providing the right guidance and a positive environment in the formative years, we should be able to trust our children to make informed decisions about their careers. But compelling them to become something we would love them to be isn’t exactly being judicious. Every hopeful who was rejected after the audition was heart broken not because he/she couldn’t make it but because mummy and papa will be sad that their child failed to actualize their dream.
   When we become parents, we see our children as our very own extension, an addendum to the whole. It is hard to perceive that the child as an individual, who is separate from us and is really not here to dance to our tunes. He has an entity of his own, an entity that can have desires that clash with our aspirations. As parents, one of our important roles is to orient ourselves with the insider information about our children’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, passions and indifference.
   To quote Maria Montessori once more “Adults look upon a child as something empty that is to be filled through their own efforts, as something inert and helpless for which they must do everything, as something lacking an inner guide and in constant need of inner direction. . . . An adult who acts in this way, even though he may be convinced that he is filled with zeal, love, and a spirit of sacrifice on behalf of his child, unconsciously suppresses the development of the child’s own personality”
So as parents are we not entitled to weave dreams for our children? Say’s who? Fabricating dreams for the future is what keeps us hopeful towards life. How wonderful would it be if we envisage for our children, for them to be able to realize their own potential, for them to be able to live their dream and being contended and happy!!

Roses Are Purple

magicaldays — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:04:00 +0000

Friend In Law

magicaldays — Mon, 10 May 2010 18:16:00 +0000

In the Hindi movie Bawarchi (1972) Harindranath Chatopadhya who plays the role of shivnath, the oldest man in the household, calls his son, played by A K Hangal, early in the morning for a cup of tea because their bawarchi (cook) has left work.
The son asks, “why did you call me so early in the morning?”
and the very old father replies:
Aur nahi to kya bahu ko bulata? (Should I have called my daughter in law instead?)
Wo to daughter in law hai, Qanoon ki beti. Ab subah subah qanoon ke jhameley mein kaun pade, isliye tujhey hi bulaya” !! :-))
(She is the “daughter in law” as in daughter of the law. Who wants to deal with the law right early in the morning, so I called you my son)
     While getting pampered on Mother’s Day one thought kept on loitering my mind. Is there a day to celebrate Mother in Laws? I mean is there a mother in law day? If there is one, it’s not marketed well enough because I have never heard about it.  A mother in law – daughter in law relationship is anything but unpretentious! Initial days or rather years are spent marking territories. Mother in law who generally rules the roost is determined to let the daughter in law know that being part of the family doesn’t mean having authority. Do not mess with that! And the daughter in law is busy pronouncing her position in the roost, which by the way is more that being mere part of the family. This endeavor of power, though is not vocal but it certainly is undeniable. But please allow me to sweeten this tussle by expressing that it is not always unpleasant. Once the two are comfortable in their respective zones and are able to look at each other as a person, as an individual outside of how they are are related to each other and know about each other’s likes, dislikes, hobbies & interests, they can experience the joy of an engaging friendship right at home!!
  We all celebrate mother’s day with much pomp and show, express our love for our beloved moms and it is important but isn’t it even more important to express our gratitude for someone who didn’t give birth to us and still plays the role of being a mother in more than one ways?
   After celebrating mother’s day, I am here today to write about my mother in law. I am not here to say that ours is a heaven sent relationship which never saw any bad day. We had had our shares of battles which subsequently brought a fair share of heartaches, for both of us. But which relationship in the world is perfect?

Like many newlyweds, I was an amateur cook at best! But Ma was always there to share her wisdom in the kitchen. Over those rushed long distance phone calls, over the emails which she was learning to compose or in person, she always shares her recipes enthusiastically. There is no power struggle, no desire to demonstrate that only she can cook those dishes. I thank her for that. Today when I lovingly cook those dishes I learnt from her and get praises, I feel such warmth and proudly tell everyone that my mother in law taught me those.

Thank you Ma! While herself being in the kitchen, her sole focus is not on her son or her grand daughter, she very lovingly makes the things I love to eat!! Once, on our way to our endless shopping trips in Delhi, she made sure that I get to eat those steaming hot Shakarkandis, everyone else in the car was just so tired and wanted to go home but she diligently looked for one of those street vendors and was determined to find one!! Thank you Ma!

     My mother in law is a woman of many attributes. Whether you are a relative, an acquaintance or a close friend, you would not want a social gathering without her presence. Along with her melodious voice, she brings life to the parties. The first time I heard her singing was when a Ramayan pathh was organised at home right after our wedding. It goes on for at least 2 days and the next morning we woke up to her lyrical voice. The comfort her harmonious voice brought to me was like a mother’s touch who is caressing her child’s forehead while the little one is in deep slumber. In that alien environment, her soothing voice made me feel at home. She has won over many friends with her singing. I only wish she pursued it as more than a hobby. Ma, did I ever tell you how much I love your singing? Please never take this away from yourself or from us!! She has a zeal for life and is always ready to learn new things, be it browsing the Internet, rewiring the computers or getting those new styles of blouses!! Her excitement in life awaken such positive thoughts in all of us that we are not scared to get old!
   Life in not rosy at all times and there have been situations when I felt the need to tell her that there are times when we wish for her to just stand back and let us be. Its the same feeling a child feels towards her parents who sometimes, out of love and concern, over nurture. I believe she does understand that and keeps her distance when needed. In fact she goes a step further and helps my father in law comprehend that. I thank her for that! Also, in such times, sometimes I might have come across as rather hasty. Did that hurt you Ma? I do want to let you know that I appreciate as well as I am conscious of the fact that sometimes keeping distance must be hard for you. I thank you for those efforts you put in to let me be me.
     Though that is how we are related, I don’t primarily see her as “the mother of my husband”. The bridge to our relationship is my husband and her son but by not tying ourselves to the expectations of our roles as a “mother in law” and “daughter in law”, we have been able to accomplish a competence to be able to reach each other independently, just like two friends would.
   In her I see a friend, a friend with whom I share every joke I hear, a friend who I love go to movies with and laugh like silly school girls, a friend with whom I love to shop, a friend who respects my passions, a friend who does not get insecure by my strengths, a friend who is proud to be with me, a friend who is also, incidentally, my mother in law.

For My Mother

magicaldays — Thu, 06 May 2010 16:58:00 +0000

Mom and Dad dearly wanted a girl and all they had was two boys *eye roll* When I entered this world *drum rolls please* it was a very cold night but my parents filled their hearts with the fruition of their frolic! Mum said she looked at dad while he was busy admiring the baby, she knew this is the girl they always wanted. Both of them would splash me with love just like the ocean with all its fervor, smother the beach with its waves. At times they would stand behind looking tenderly at me, captivated by the charm of the girl they always wanted. Dad brought anklets paayal for me when I started walking. Every jingle and chime of my tiny steps would amuse them. Dad got enamored by his daughter but it was my mother who despite being in this grasp of love was able to see me as an individual who she was determined to raise with a desire to be independent. Hers was tough love. She knew its not a woman’s world and she knew in order to survive in this male dominated world, a girl needs to know when to raise her hand and say No. She knew the world we live in sees a woman’s worth by the men in her life and hence she knew the importance of having an independent mind, a conscious that would not be easily swayed by popular opinions and would have the ability to chose wisely. Her way of communication made her lovable. Say it with a smile, that was her motto. I remember going with her to the ration stores which were set up by the government to sell grains and sugar at a subsidized price. Like many other things these stores were taken over by crooks who would just send the customer back saying “khatam ho gaya” (its all finished) no matter what date of the month it would be! Mother would never fight them for her share but she used her words judiciously accompanied with a pleasant tone and it was only a matter of minutes that I would see the attitudes shifting from arrogance to diffidence. And then she would carry that big sack of wheat on her shoulders amidst the narrow congested vegetable market with no sign of embarrassment. She didn’t care for what people would say, a lady carrying ration on her back while her husband is home, India is like that but she never bothered about the people who ridiculed her. Beside her, I would carry the smaller bag, the one containing sugar and every now and then she would give me a faithful look that said “you and me are in this together” and I would walk quietly trying to keep pace with her confident stride while clutching the sack and observing the onlookers with their judgmental expressions . Mom, with her crystal clear display of strong self confidence, made me what I am today. Her resilience to any and every kind of life situations helped this little girl grow up to be someone who can bear the weight of life as it comes. She didn’t preach any life lessons to me because she knew her daughter isn’t a mere observer. Her ingenuity at managing the house and the effective ways through which she involved us kids in that process, internalized in me innumerable skills without even trying. I thank her for that.
And once I became a mother, I realized how much I have really learned from her.
From a mother to her mother “Happy Mother’s Day Mom”

This post goes to the Blogadda contest for Mother’s Day!
I would chose this for my mother for the razzle dazzle she never had!

Joys of Summer

magicaldays — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:41:00 +0000

Living on this side of the globe has made me realize what a bliss it is to have summers. For a long part of the year, our region faces nature’s fury in the form of snowstorms, ice storms, much much below freezing temperatures. But come the month of May and there is no other place we would rather be. It is lush green everywhere with a sunny warmth and a touch of breeze. It is seductive to say the least, anyone who visits during summers would want to live here forever. And that’s why no guests are allowed in our house over the summers…..just kidding….but you got it, didn’t you?
This past Sunday was one such perfect summer day here and we took it all in by being outside in the lawn,Saumya was ~~watering herself~~ taking care of the plants , savoring juicy red water melon and running around in the lawn. That is all we did. But it was one of those days that stay in my memory forever. The days when none of us is busy and we are just being family, just there. Seeing everyone being joyous and all happy, I decided to surprise Saumya along with my hubby dear with a refreshing summer delight.

Mango Lassi

I promised IHM that I will share this recipe, here you go my dear friend.

Here’s what all you need to quench your thirst……….

Mango : 1 count
Yogurt : 3/4 cup
Water : 1/2 cup
Sugar : To taste (If you are lucky enough to be in India during mango season, I don’t think sugar is needed but elsewhere please adjust it depending on the sweetness of mango)
Here’s what you need to do….
Peel and cut the mango. Put everything in the blender and let it run its fury! And there you have it…..Mango Lassi!
Give it a try!

The Peeler And The Healer

magicaldays — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 16:24:00 +0000

So you become a parent, you read a lot of books, try to set up an example for the children and see them showing good values and feel proud. Like many parents, I do spend a lot of time correcting my behavior by reading books , interacting with other parents, observing teachers, watching movies, listening to radio…..really, whatever I am doing my mind keeps getting subconscious feedback about my parenting skills. Looking at how others are solving their problems, dealing with a difficult person while keeping their demeanor, how people are displaying their virtue of patience at work place or in the parking lot…..all of it goes in that section of my mind where a five year old parent sits to learn. Yes I do consider myself to be a 5 year old parent because that’s how long ago I became one. I am learning on the job. And there are days that ring a bell and tell me that many a times I am a perfect candidate that should be fired from this job. Few months back I shared with you all about my daughter Saumya’s thoughtful gift to me. I considered that peeler as one of my prized possessions, something I earned from a 5 year old for being a good mother, a sensitive friend who could pass on the values of care and expression of love to this little girl. I felt victorious and big. I was not planning to use that peeler because I wanted it to be with me forever but after a lot of nudging from everyone around and Saumya herself that it would mean so much more to her if she sees me using it, I kept it in my kitchen and believe me peeling a potato was never such fun, people at home caught me with a smile plastered on my face while peeling. Love is really something, it even turns a mundane task of peeling into this fascinating work that calls to you!! And then one day, while I heard my calling, I opened the drawer and there was no peeler to be seen!!! It was gone, vanished!! I looked high and low everywhere in the kitchen, emptied every nook and corner hoping to find it playfully hiding and ready to surprise me with a big scream of laughter just like Saumya. I even emptied the trash can, yes I rummaged through our kitchen trash and turned the whole kitchen upside down but it was nowhere to be found. Looking at the mess I brought upon and cleaning through it I realized that there wasn’t any surprise waiting for me but oh how I wished for a miracle that day. Like a 5 year old, I was scared. I pondered that if Saumya is learning by observing us, she is going to be heartbroken as well as furious when she finds out.

Like a 5 year old who treads on a path full of mines everyday where at every action or word of hers, either a parent or a teacher is going to jump out like a Genie from a cup to point out the mistakes she made, things she could have done differently, I was perturbed and muddled at the complexity of the situation. Like a 5 year old I didn’t know if I should be sad about my loss or be scared of the condemnation I will have to face. I could just simply let it go and hope for Saumya to forget about it but thankfully prudence prevailed and I gathered courage and decided to face the music.

We were in the kitchen, making small talk about our day and even with a strong conviction in me I could not muster up enough mettle to just speak out about the lost peeler. So I took another route, I took out potatoes and a regular knife and started peeling knowing that the observant Saumya will notice and ask. And she did! No matter how guilty or scared I was, I again felt victorious at being able to predict my daughter’s action and reactions.

“Mamma, why aren’t you using a peeler for those potatoes?”

“Uhummm, I can’t seem to find the peeler anywhere”

“You mean you can’t find the peeler I gifted you?”

“mmm….hmmm…uuunnn”

“You mean the peeler I gave on your birthday in India?”

“I looked for it everywhere but …..its ….nowhere….”

“Mamma that is so weird”

“Saumya, I am really sorry that I lost it, it was a special gift from you, I didn’t take care of it the way I should have”

Seeing her mother in distress , Saumya brought out the most altruistic , benevolent smile on her charming face and held my face in her soft tender hands and said “Mamma, that’s OK, we can lose things sometimes”

And then , with an astute poise she hugged me. I was mesmerized and my vision became cloudy with gratitude. Upon seeing tears rolling down my cheeks she said “Mamma you are being silly, smile now, we can always get another peeler”

I was so ashamed at all the instances I had been so hard on her in the past; why did you forget to, why can’t you take care, why can’t you learn……always expecting her to have an explanation for her actions. What could I offer her if she dealt with the situation the same way and asked me “why did you lose it, why can’t you take care of things that are important to you, why can’t you learn”.

Thank you Saumya for letting this 5 year old parent learn yet again that if I keep my mind open, learning can come from anywhere and everywhere and thank you for being one such source.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Please Touch….

magicaldays — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:57:00 +0000

……and when you are done doing that, read further!! Gee, what were you thinking, I am only here to write about a museum!!!
Please Touch Museum is housed in the Memorial Hall Philadelphia which was one of the buildings built to celebrate America’s centennial in 1876. It is the only major building remaining from the centennial exposition. It is a magnificent building with a resplendent soaring ceiling which is about 80 ft high.

As we enter the stunning space, we are greeted by 40 ft life size replica of Statue of Liberty’s Arm and Torch which is built using things like toys and games and other things ”found”. Can you see the beautiful details in the building? I love it!!

This Image: Please Touch Website

Please Touch Museum is a hands on children’s museum. From their official website
…..”we encourage children to play and grow through the myriad of experiences we offer. We know that play provides the foundation for basic life skills such as building relationships, cooperation, negotiation and compromise as well as providing opportunities for children to find out who they are and what they enjoy doing. Play offers an emotional outlet, develops the imagination and creativity, and cultivates problem-solving skills”

It is great place to spend time with toddlers and preschoolers. We spent about three hours there. Saumya was especially smitten by the “Grocery Store” where she could shop and then check out all her stuff just like mom.
Another thing that captivated her was the hamster wheel which she would walk on to make it move. In excitement she started “walking” on it very fast but wasn’t very happy that it made the wheel go fast as well!! And then we ate in the Please Taste Cafe where the motto was “please pay too much” ouch!!! We should have packed our own snacks. After that we made a customary visit to the museum store which was pretty commonplace but we did find an “out of the ordinary” puzzle for Saumya.
She was able to make most of it without help though in the final stages when the pieces very very little she did need an adult. Here it is

Looks cool, eh?!

Here’s the other side of it.

If you are in Philadelphia with a child under the age of 6, this would be a great place to visit. Here’s the link to the website for more info.

Philadelphia : Part One

magicaldays — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 23:14:00 +0000

The Philadelphia Stock exchange. It was the first one to be established in United States in 1790. Love the grandeur and the columns.

One of the many hotels in downtown. Again, the columns and archways fascinate me.

The Independence Hall where the discussions and debates and the final signing of constitution of America took place.

The Philadelphia Bourse, opened in 1895 and was the first commodities exchange in United states. Today, it is one of Philadelphia’s leading commercial complexes, home to 24 retail and food service stores and more than 50 businesses.

People think that Betsy Ross made the American flag, but it’s not totally for sure. She was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on January 1, 1752. More about Betsy Ross here.

One of the six mints in United States, is located in Philadelphia and it only makes coins and no bills. The architecture disappointed me here!

Oldest living street in United States is Elfreth’s Alley and is in Philadelphia. It about 300 years old. “Only??” Ask people from Europe!!

Benjamin Franklin Bridge built over the Delaware river, what a beauty! It connects Philadelphia with New jersey. Construction started in 1922 but soon after a dispute arose between

New Jersey and Philadelphia. New Jersey wanted tollbooths on the bridge while Pennsylvania wanted the bridge to be free, using tax money to pay for the construction. Works on the bridge even halted for some time until eventually Pennsylvania agreed to construct tollbooths. it finally opened to traffic in 1926 but was given its present name only in 1956.

This is the Liberty Bell. When William Penn created Pennsylvania’s government he allowed citizens to take part in making laws and gave them the right to choose the religion they wanted. The colonists were proud of the freedom that Penn gave them. In 1751, the Speaker of the Pennsylvania Assembly ordered a new bell for the State House. He asked that a Bible verse to be placed on the bell – “Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the inhabitants thereof” (Leviticus 25:10). As the official bell of the Pennsylvania State House (today called Independence Hall) it rang many times for public announcements. The old State House bell was first called the “Liberty Bell” by a group trying to outlaw slavery. These abolitionists remembered the words on the bell and, in the 1830s, adopted it as a symbol of their cause.

Philadelphia City Center has a eclectic mix of old and new architecture and it gives Philadelphia its unique look and style.

Gorgeous Philadelphia City Hall. It boasts to be the largest, tallest and the most expensive of all the city halls in United States. It took 30 years to be ready and no steel frames were used in the construction which is why the walls on the first floor are up to 22 ft thick to support the weight of the floors above.

The first free public library in America is also in Philadelphia, founded by , of course, Benjamin Franklin like everything else in Philadelphia!

Yes, you can thank me now for presenting a long lesson about Philadelphia! I am sure I must have missed many things but then who said you can get to know everything by just reading one book
More to come in next post about things in Philadelphia and that have nothing to do with Ben Franklin!